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The Hasidic leader, Rabbi Hanokh, retold an old jest
There was once a man who was very stupid. When he got up in the
morning it was so hard for him to find his clothes that at night he
almost hesitated to go to bed for thinking of the trouble he would
have on waking. One evening he finally made a great effort, took
paper and pencil and as he undressed noted down exactly where he put
everything he had on. The next morning, very pleased with himself, he
took the slip of paper in his hand and read "cap"- there it
was , he set it on his head; "pants:- there they lay, he go into
them and so it went on until he was fully dressed. " That's all
very well but where am I myself?" he asked in great
consternation where in the world am I? He looked and looked but it
was a vain search; he could not find himself.
In many ways this is a very apt story. It describes where I was
before embarking on this journey of personal discovery.
The way I interpret this story is
"Having filled myself completely feeling incomplete
Having all the wares feeling inadequate
In gaining a lot losing myself."
The questions - "Who am I", "Why am I like this",
"What do I respond to some situations/ people and context in a
certain way", "What really matters to me", "What
do I mean to myself", "What do others mean to me" etc
haunted me
And buried deep within all this, unknown to me was my potency.
The greatest take away in making this investment in 'me' through
process work is the creating of an internal compass, to give me a
sense of equanimity. A willingness to look inward. The need to
express myself through my dreams, conviction and passion. Owning up
all parts of myself and taking responsibility for who I am. The
realization that nothing reverberates "within" with the
"key" to it outside!!
I often think if this has answered all my questions, given me any
more skills, made me a better person? Well this process has brought
my way the pains and joys of being a human. Something that I have
willingly embraced.
Has this resulted in any thing - for the organizations that I have
worked for, for the family that I am a member of, for the people who
are special to me? The sure return on investment is my willingness to
bring in all of my self in any context. My willingness to relate to
people as they are and then paint a canvas of togetherness.
Acknowledging to myself that I can be in-adequate and yet complete.
Giving myself the freedom to 'just be' and taking responsibility of
any consequences of this life stance.
Well there is no the end to this journey, there can only be a many
beginning's. There can only be a solemn commitment to invest in one
self. The belief that life offers many opportunities to us... we can
either let them pass by or let them be the manure to our growth.
" If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not
understand, things are just as they are." - Zen proverb
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